My brother in person: *doesn’t say much*
My brother via text with his girlfriend: You’re the greatest baby! I’m so happy with such a sweet girl like you! <33333333

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(Source: ejacutastic, via thatsnotwatyourmomsaid)
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“It’s called being part of a society. Not everything goes your way. I don’t let my kids eat ice cream every night. They wish I did, but even they know: that doesn’t make me the Hitler of ice cream”
(Source: igotkittypryde, via thatsnotwatyourmomsaid)